"I have commitment issues so deep that I have trouble picking a notepad."
"I am not the man I was yesterday, I almost never am."
"The quality of a person's character can be measured by the fierceness of the loyalty of their friends."
"Don't be a greedhead."
"The greatest threats to nonprofits are the charlatans, the ignorant & the angry."
(Inspired during a strategic planning meeting for the International Association of Fundraising Professionals a self-serving charlatan that was baiting the ignorant and angry.)
On Personality 
"I'm an enigma wrapped in an onion, as you peel my layers, you'll cry, but you won't know why."
On Curb Appeal
"Present yourself in the manner you wish to be perceived."
"I am a lucky, lucky boy!"
"I decided a long time ago that I will no longer shovel coal into someone else's machine. What I do has to matter. I have to care."
On Customer Service
"Calling me rude because I told you that you were rude doesn't make me rude nor negate your rudeness."
"You can not expect sustained excellence let alone growth based on the Herculean efforts of an understaffed team."
"The greatest beauty in our lives catches us off guard. We don't see it until we notice we're holding our breath."
(Inspired by a conversation with my daughter about the nuance and subtly of "Dune.")
"If you don't seek reward and you don't fear punishment, you are free to be honest with anyone."
On Personal Growth
"We can't know who the people we love are growing to be unless we take time to listen to them."
"Just because you're older doesn't mean you're smarter."
"I am your knight. I am your ninja. I am your feather. I am your club. I am always here for you. I serve you."
(Inspired by reflecting on the friends I would wage war or take a bullet for.)
On Age 
A friend of mine just turned 39. I said "Great! Now you can date guys half your age and they'll be legal."
On Food 
"All I really need is interesting cheese."
"Sometimes we just need permission to participate without fear of judgement."
"The fire in my belly blew out last week. Good thing my pilot light was still lit today. Rage on!"
(Inspired by a tough week and a recovery fueled by my friends and Billy Idol's album "Kings and Queens of the Underground.")
"In Lake Tahoe, all of the older men have trophy wives, but most of them seem to have only won third place."
"When you feel powerless, doing something is everything."
(Inspired by Dana Workes and her experience with the #Ferguson shooting and civil unrest.)
"Moments in time define you. Is this one of them?"
"Don't die ignorant and pointless. Educate yourself and make a difference."
On Happiness (for Valentine's Day)
"I'm a happy baby." (photo)
"Sometimes the shoes left behind are so big it takes more than one person to fill them."
(Inspired while talking to friends of KBBG FM Founder and Civil Rights Leader Jimmie Porter.)
"My mom always told me 'Being a smart-ass doesn't make you smart.' (usually after she back-handed me with her rings.)"
Jimism #5 (Or is this a Mom-ism?)
"Sometimes the smallest mouths speak the loudest truths."
Jimism #367 (A comment I made to Yuma, Arizona Mayor Douglas Nicholls as he was explaining his youth education plan to combat methamphetamine in the community.)
On Longing (for Valentine's Day)
"When I close my eyes, I see yours."
On Romance (for Valentine's Day)
"Tus ojos son una poema, tu boca es un cancion." (Your eyes are a poem, your mouth is a song.)
On Unconditional Love (for Valentine's Day)
"If I could change one thing about you, I wouldn't. Because it might be connected to something I love."
Jimism #382 (YouTube Video)
"I just realized, I have been in love... by other people's definitions, but not by mine."
"Loyalty to the undeserving is a pointless experiment in self-flagellation."
Jimism # 136
"If you decide you're breaking up with me, don't expect me to help you pack your car with my stuff."
On Personal Growth
"Each day we meet people who change us, they become a part of us."
On Optimism #4
"Your glass isn't half full, it's full! You're just really fortunate to have a such a huge glass!"
(Inspired by my most positive friend and colleague, KAWC Underwriting Representative, Steve Hennig)
"Price is irrelevant. Value is everything."
On Anticipating Opportunity
"Some bears like it hot."
Jimism #135 (See "Goldilocks Proposals" for more about maximizing opportunity.)
On Qualified Prospects
"You can't catch trout in a catfish pond."
Jimism #164 (First shared with my sister when she was complaining about her dating options.)
On Abusive Practices
"Rent To Own is the work of the devil."
"You can't demand respect, you have to earn it."
"Remove all barriers to participation."
(Every step we ask someone to take means some of them won't.)
"Simply asserting that something "is" true does not make it true. Facts, history, experience, evidence and logic affirm truth. Without that it's just your opinion...or you're just ranting."
"The fabric of our future is woven with threads from the quilt of characters in our past."
Jimism #383 (Inspired while volunteering at the WBAI FM "Phoenix Rising" Pledge Drive in New York City.)
"You may choose to consider me your enemy, but you can not force me to make you mine."
Jimism #389 (Inspired while addressing the WBAI FM Local Station Board in New York City.)
"I don't dislike you because of any group you belong to. I dislike you on an individual, personal level."
On Spontaneous Snickering
"Sometimes I just think funny things."
"I'm an open book, but only up until about chapter 23."
On Realistic Expectations
"Don't give me an ultimatum and call it a deadline."
On Higher Authority
"You appear to have the authority to say no. Please get me someone who can say yes."
"Happiness is at the tips of your fingers…that's not what I meant."
"Trying to censor an opposing perspective tells more about your fear of losing control than someone else's desire to take it."
"How badly could this turn out?"
"Sometimes, good stuff just happens."
"If you only focus on how badly they eat, you may not understand how hungry they are."
On YouTube 
"Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."
Jimism #303 (GoalBusters Videos are available on YouTube.)
On Creating a NonProfit
"Don't bring me a tax shelter and call it a "Nonprofit." If you're not bringing a sincere commitment to serve a need in your community, I won't help row your boat."
On Group Think
"You can lead a lemming to water...and then watch them sink."
"Intolerance of intolerance is not intolerant. It is a demand for accountability."
The Satisfaction Equation: (Execution => Expectations) =Satisfaction (Execution must be equal to or greater than expectations to achieve satisfaction.)
"Both my kids were born via caesarean section. They're okay, but whenever they leave the house they go out the window."
"I just realized I read stucco ceilings like gypsies read tea leaves. I must be more responsible with my prognostication."
(Inspired by my ceiling... and Dana Workes... and Scott Fortum's ceiling. It was an inspirational night.)
"Aspire to nothing and you will succeed."
On Food 
"If I were a cannibal, I wouldn't eat vegetarians."
"I'm an important person with important things to do…What time does Gilligan's Island come on?"
On Futile Worry 
"Don't whine about What if...? Before you know What is."
"Mom always told me...You can say anything you feel strongly enough about to get slapped in the mouth over."
"A person doesn't just turn 35 and become a jerk.They're usually kids that were jerks who just grew up."
"I'm in a state of ME-phoria."
On Missing Jimisms
"Some Jimisms are better left unsaid"
Jimism #326 (Okay, Alice actually explained this to me when she said, "You can NOT put that on our website.")
"That does NOT taste like chicken."
"It doesn't matter whether you're selling Lexus or lemonade, the only way to grow business is to keep what you've got and go get more."
On Corporate Culture
"If I'm not gonna have any fun, I'll take my ball and go play with someone else."
On Sparkling Water
"There is an inverse relationship between the quality of sparkling water and the size of the bubbles."
On GoalBusters 
"We're like bacon...we make everything better."
"Gravity can be your friend."
"I'll skip dessert. I'm not a sweet guy."
On Proactivity 
"Your phone won't ring unless you made their phone ring first. Make the call."
"Sometimes I only amuse me...but...then I'm amused and sometimes that's enough."
On The Tipping Point (Negative)
"She's going to hit the "Barney Arc of Hatred" in record time."
"Family is about relationships, not about obligations."
On "Thank You"
"It was the least I could do. And, I always try to do the least I could do."
On Names 
"You can call me "Elmo" Because... it tickles me."
"There is an inverse relationship between simplicity and flexibility."
On Age 
"Cut my finger and count the rings."
On YouTube 
"I want my JIMTV!"
Jimism #18 (GoalBusters Videos are available on YouTube.)
On Professional Relationships
"Cash follows Contact."
"All we need to succeed is cooperation and enthusiasm."
On Optimism 
"I'm abundantly confident and foolishly optimistic."
"If you're constantly interacting with the same people, you've created a club, not a community."
On "The Power of Jerks"
"The worst in others can bring out the best in YOU."
"My mom taught me a very long time ago...Always be sincere...even if you have to fake it."
"You can't be a Brochure Organization in a Social Media World ."
On Names 
"I don't care what you call me as long as you smile and tip. Oh what the hell, just tip." (service professional years)
"Perception may not be the reality, but it is always their reality."
"Don't be alarmed, I'm simply demonstrating volume displacement."
On Nonprofit Mission
"There is a difference between serving your community and protecting your commodity."
"Alice Ferris IS Kevin Bacon" (She's connected to everyone! - LinkedIn Profile)"
"I don't expect you to take a bullet for me. But, I do expect you to take a stand."
"Some people ask, "What would Jesus Do?" I ask, "What would Grandma think?"
Subliminal Speed Reading
"You liked what!?!"
"I'm not looking for my "other half." If I found it, I wouldn't be able to fit into these pants."
"Your elevator speech shouldn't take more than 3 floors."
"I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I see a horizon of possibilities."
On Proactivity 
"The early bird gets the piki...so to spiki." (my Hopi friends will get it)
On Personality 
"I'm a sea cucumber trapped in a sea urchin's body… either way, ...don't squeeze me."
"Just coffee, black please… I don't drink coffee because I like coffee. I drink coffee because I need coffee."
On Optimism 
"My glass is half full...So, fill it up!"
"Don't count the people you reach. Focus on reaching the people who count."
"My mom's third husband was a man named John Bone. I had two stepbrothers for a while. I called them Ham and Milk."
On GoalBusters  (Year #1, 3rd Quarter)
"We took GoalBusters full time 9 months ago. That's three trimesters. How long does it take to birth a company, anyway?”
On Mean People
"If you're going to act like a jerk, you don't get to play in my sandbox."
On Bad Behavior
"People have told me "You're incorrigible." I always reply… "So, stop incorriging me."
On Personality 
"I have always been a "Goofy Shenanigator."
"I am a funnel of LOVE!"
(Inspired by my friend Bob Railbourne who thanked me for all the birthday wishes I was sending his way.)
"Things I don't want for Christmas include:
2. Things I have to dust
3. Nuclear Conflict
4. Marital Reconciliation"